So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
