Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
