i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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