Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong