Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?