either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Sorry my hands just texted you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company