Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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