So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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