Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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