Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
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Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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