After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
