i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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