So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize