so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
