Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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