bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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