Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
