shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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