Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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