Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.