How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
His hands were made for my vagina.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got inside last night via doggy door