goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
