JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
