Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
