Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
