She is in my trunk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
