today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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