I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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