I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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