marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
