No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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