i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
