Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
