omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize