i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
