babies were throwing up all over the place
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
