if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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