I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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