Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
