Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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