windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
