I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
