dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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