literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
