I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
