we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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