Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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