I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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