I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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