I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
is wine microwaveable?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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