Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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