So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
