Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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