Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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