This is not my ceiling
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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