I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
