did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
