while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize