so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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