And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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