Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
