i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
