Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
